Wednesday, June 15, 2011

To oblivion and back

It was a complex argument inside the examination hall, inside the parting of my brain- one saying disperse in the black hole, other calling out for an escape. Sunken, I was caught between their mild difference and ..     they compressed me indifferently. A light numb air, grey and not black hovering over pushed me into coma.
Passivity to blackness?  but I had no idea about its hollowness! what if it turns out to be a traitor? No trust.
Escape?   E s c a p e, Is it a psychological term, I have heard it a many times before but none relates. I don’t know the word’s meaning, darn!
The layers were multiplying, squeezing my tiny reaction which was trying hard to break the matrix. I realized the head going underground with every sound I heard of the clock ticking, which actually was the only sound echoing in my ignorant ears. I wished to be deaf.
“Calm” “Calm”, A voice murmured, yeah, they were my own breaths, my nerves.. they were? I suppose, yes, no.. most probably, I don’t know but it acted like a drug, powerful enough to grab my freely falling body and put it to a kind slumber.
Laid to an immortal rest, I passed to oblivion. The void invited me in and stamped my mind with its seal. It was not any energy loss or the annihilation of my matter, not even some game with any of my living proof but the instance secreted in me a fluid, its volume negligible, imparted a particle of grain, so petite.
I searched but the whole activity has no name, evolution will be far beyond the chapter, psychical theory would be a low determinant of the phenomenon. Let go!
As soon as I felt my eyes completely closed and the nerves loosened sedately, the pen in my hand dropped down.

The next thing I remember is I picked it up and started writing my exam again.


richard said...

Excellent! very good.

Blasphemous Aesthete said...

You know, when we are in a black hole, we loose all track of time, and place, of moments and of light. All that is left is a continuum of existence, slow, and fast simultaneously, and black.

Interesting read. But, why in an examination hall?

Blasphemous Aesthete

Monika said...

Blasphemous Aesthete, That was my last exam when I had this feeling,even I have no idea why, may be because the day before, some series of events occurred to me which did not allow me to leave their grip even in the exam. Thanks for dropping by in.

Monika said...

Richard, Thanks!